Like this:

The closer I get to summer, the longer my I-must-need-a-summer-break-really-bad list gets. Less and less patience with the kids, more and more you-should-know-by-now-how-to-walk-in-a-straight-line lectures, longer and longer late afternoons at work, stronger and stronger coffee in the mornings.

But today I think I topped the list off.

I killed a classroom pet.

“Really, Joey?” You’re probably thinking, with raised eyebrows, “You don’t seem like the type to keep classroom pets.” I’m not. At all. But this six weeks we’re doing a life cycle unit in science, which means (gulp) whether I like it or not, I get to keep twenty squirmy little mealworms in my classroom until they turn into beetles.

And today I killed one. Drowned it, to be precise. To make things worse, I had it up on the document camera, so its death was projected on a giant screen for all to see.

The curriculum said to use an eye dropper to squeeze a little bit of water onto a mealworm to see what would happen when it got wet. Then the kids were supposed to write down their before and after observations. I was running late this morning and eye droppers were not on my radar, so I figured the squirty part of my water bottle would work just fine.

I guess I squirted a bit too much.

First, it started moving really lethargically, like an old man with a walking stick, if it is permissible to make such a comparison.

Then, it started convulsing and jumping around, as if it were having a seizure. I’m sure if it had eyes like ours, they would have been rolling back in its little worm head. The crowd went wild. I started wondering if I had done something wrong.

And then it stopped moving altogether.

The kids got really upset and kept exclaiming “It’s dead, it’s dead”, but I assured them it was just napping, and tried to convince them that it was still moving by jabbing it endlessly with a pencil. Don’t think that helped the situation.

But I’m about 100% positive that Miss Moore did indeed kill the poor mealworm. One of my smarter kids drew a picture of a dead mealworm for the “after” picture.

And then, to make matters worse, I didn’t know what to do with a dead mealworm, so I put it back in one of the tupperwares with oatmeal with the other live ones.

This is why Miss Moore does not keep permanent classroom pets.

And this is one of the many reasons Miss Moore needs a summer break. Soon and very soon.

Advertisement